Cracked Open

 

Cracked Open
Lyrics: Carol Lee
 
Bricks are made of mud
It’s been pouring here all day
House was made of earth
Now there’s nothing left but clay

What we gonna do now
Spin that clay into a bowl
Earth is leanin’ northward
Turning hard rain into snow

How come my heart feels so cracked open
When the love is running deep
Someday we all will cross over
Maybe  right now is all we’ll ever be
           
Frozen up inside now
Blizzards got me bound
Light dead wood with fire
Burned this house down to the ground

Ashes to ashes
No matter the hot air that I blow
Damn twisters gonna uproot me
Leave me pieces of my home

How come my heart feels so cracked open
When the love is running deep
Someday we all will cross over
Maybe  right now is all we’ll ever be

Went to find my mama
But she was dead and gone
Cried myself a river
A childless mother now full grown

Bricks are made of mud
And it’s been raining here all day
House was made of earth
Now there is nothing left but clay

How come my heart feels so cracked open
When the love is running deep
Someday we all will cross over
Maybe  right now is all we’ll ever be
Maybe  right now is all we’ll ever be

Maybe  right now is all we’ll ever be

 

After the Eclipse
Lyrics: Carol Lee 

After the eclipse
I wondered did I need a new name
Before the eclipse
Each elemental day seemed the same

I woke up from a dream
To lights in the midnight black
Just an endless stream
Collider of futures and pasts

Oh moon, how you know my soul
Sun in the sky, I reach for you to grow

I raised up my half
Into an empty space
I blazed a new path
Although now it is paved

Just like mercury
Things kept turning retrograde
I'm an escapee
Into the dazzling milky way

Oh moon, how you know my soul
Sun in the sky, I reach for you to grow

You wax and wane
Each quarter's turn
You come and go
For me to learn

Oh moon, how you know my soul
Sun in the sky, I reach for you to grow

 

Left Hand Creek
Lyrics: Carol Lee 

Watching ice melting into left hand creek
Winds whipped around the canyon
Can I still breathe?
Car engines roar, louder than earth
Sky jets leaving cloudy trails
I am believing, somewhere i’m free

Telephone wires, crisscross above me
Yellow-red kite caught up in a tree
Yes I believe
Log cabin chimney, looks like a painting
Some old sagebrush tumbles down our path
Now I am seeing, we are free

I'm just waking up
I think we're all waking up
Living the life we dreamed
Set free inside a love supreme
Knowing we are free

I am free I am free
I am free I am free
We are free we are free

 

Good Enough
Lyrics: Arthur Lee Land 

Yesterday I watched the videos
From when I was a boy
I have to say, well it took me by surprise
I heard that little boy say
"i don't want people to see how stupid I am"
It made me wonder "who told him all those lies?"

I carry it with me everyday
But it's time to let it go...

I know that I am good enough
I wish that you could understand
The price that I have paid to be a man

It could have been my big brother
Cuz I was just a pain in his ass
But maybe my mom, cuz to her I could never do things right
My cheating dad went along with it
To keep the peace in the house
Now I'm left with this burden and stage-fright

I was a champion of nothing
During my school career
Hyperactive, I was a guinea pig for the little white pills
"super bright, but he doesn't apply himself" 
Is what my teachers said
They wrote me off, another kid lost to the social ills

I carry it with me everyday
But it's time to let it go

I know that I am good enough
I wish that you could understand
The price that I have paid to be a man

I don't have to prove myself
Or justify my worth
What I am is only who I am
It's who I am
Only who I am

A part of me was stolen by my cousins,
When I was only 10
Threw me face down on the bed,
I didn't know what was happening
These scars are like a magnet
They attract more and more shame
But I ain't gonna play the victim, I got no one to blame

The voices inside my head
Well they almost took me down
But I found the sound of silence
That led me to forgiveness

I know that I am good enough
I wish that you could understand
The price that I have paid to be a man
 
I don't have to prove myself
Or justify my worth
What I am is only who I am
It's who I am
Only who I am
It's who I am
Only who I am
I am who I am
I'm fine the way I am

 

Into the Waters
Lyrics: Carol Lee 

Remember when we were kids                   
We would run until we dropped
Forging trails like indians                            
On the shores of michigan
We hung from trees and cliffs
Ran past the sandy dunes                              
Fish skeletons and rocks...
Into the waters

When water's temp was 59
We would gather in a line
Count to 10 and run right in
Our heads would ache with pain
Lips were blue bodies frozen
Then we'd do it once again
Fall winter spring and then...
Into the waters

Then when we were teens                         
We would ride our bikes for miles
In the sand played truth or dare        
Partied reckless had no fears
Of who we’d be when we grew up
If we could find out what we love        
18, 21 and then...                  
Into the waters

When waters temp was 63
Weekdays summers we were free
Climbing old piers scaffolding
Sweat pouring, sun burning
4 inch wide rusty iron
15 feet high up we would cling
Count to 3 with eyes closing...
Into the waters
                                 
Now that we all are grown              
Laptops and texting on our phones
American dreams we keep on buying
Making it hard to find down time
We hang like trees on cliffs
Watching how quick the sands can shift
One by one we all will drift...
Into the waters

When waters temp turns 68                             
By the seashore we will wade
Dip our feet and then our knees                           
We avoid the sudden freeze
Covered bodies with sunscreen                           
Recalling lazy summer scenes
Just keep following the breeze...                                                                               
Into the waters

 

Undertow
Lyrics: Carol Lee 

Hey ground control
I’ve slipped down into the undertow
Composting into earth heart and soul
I am black as dirt yet white as snow

So now you know
Understudied for the leading role
And my holy self was left half cloaked
Rich as hell and still i’m left flat broke
                                                                 
Truth be told
I underestimate words I spoke
Lost my voice I could not be consoled
Lost my legs and now my wings unfold
I’m still young and I am old
I’m still young and I am old

 

Hawthorne tree               
Lyrics: Carol Lee

My love tripped and fell down a holy well
I listen and it’s echoing is haunting me for days
And I want to reach down               
And dip the fabrics of my ancestors
Until they bleed together                         
And tie them to a hawthorne tree
 
And I find myself smaller than a grain of sand
And I find myself more open then the sky himself
 
Forgive my heart breaking senses
Forgive my name and my tattoos
Forgive forgiveness
 
And the sylphs would fill the sky
And the lightening, lifting, grounding
Until my feet became roots                   
And reached down into sand & dirt
 
And I find myself smaller than a grain of sand
And I find myself more open then the sky himself
 
Forgive my heart breaking senses
Forgive my name and my tattoos
Forgive forgiveness

 
And all I can offer is my self,                         
My flesh, my bones, my life force
Often kicking and screaming,
Sometimes opening and being
 
And I find myself smaller than a grain of sand
And I find myself more open then the sky himself

If I could go back the apple, the snake, the tree
If I could rewrite my story so defined
 
Forgive my heart breaking senses
Forgive my name and my tattoos
Forgive forgiveness
Forgive forgiveness
Forgive forgiveness herself
 

 

Do You Ever Think of Me?
Lyrics: Carol Lee 

You're probably doing well             
You know it's hard to tell
When you didn't return my calls
I figured it's just as well
We had something don't you agree?
Hey, do you ever think of me?

We had our place near the beach
The stars then within our reach
We made plans and we dreamed
Thought we'd play for the same team

I still see your face when I smell cloves
We had some laughs but something broke

I'm still testing this open heart
Trying to keep it safe and clean
Use it for a light
When there's no light to be seen
We can shimmer it in darkness
And help warm this cold, cold ground
Though it seems nothing’s left
There's still something to be found 

Hey how's your kid, do you have a new wife?
I wonder if you’re satisfied
I still wish you'd come around
We could pull this barbed wire down

I'm pretty busy now and we're less broke
I've grown up a lot since we last spoke 

I'm still testing this open heart
Trying to keep it safe and clean
Use it for a light
When there's no light to be seen
We can shimmer it in darkness
And help warm this cold, cold ground
Though it seems nothing’s left
There's still something to be found 

You're probably doing well
You know it's hard to tell
Didn't answer my emails
I figured it's just as well
We had something don't you agree?
Hey, do you ever think of me?

 

True North
Lyrics: Carol Lee
This Friday evening the leaves they fell like rain
Just 8 days ago the fields they all were green
No one can ever stop, stop the days from turning
We can only lend a hand and keep on learning
 
I can find a million reasons why                             
We’ve just got to step outside the lines                    
It’s time to open our minds and find a vision      
Survey true north  
                                       
Come on ms. Josephine, it’s time to stop your fussing
There’s something bigger going on so learn some trusting
In the blink of an eye you know this life is gonna be over
Show some mercy for yourself and quit, quit running for cover
 
I can find a million reasons why                             
We’ve just got to step outside the lines                    
It’s time to open our minds and find a vision      
Survey true north  
 
We keep indulging our children
And you know they're getting weighed down     
Let’s teach them how to fish
Then leave leave some fish around
You know i’m gonna help a brother
If I see him crash and burn and           
I’ll give up a little bit of self so the wheels
The wheels will keep turning     
 
I can find a million reasons why                             
We’ve just got to step outside the lines                    
It’s time to open our minds and find a vision      
Survey true north for our dreams and visions
                                                                                         
I saw a man falling, falling down
I heard his breath and I followed the sound
Excusing my time I sat on the ground
And the light showered us over
 
I can find a million reasons why                             
We’ve just got to step outside the lines                    
It’s time to open our minds and find a vision      
Survey true north   

 

Drum & A Chair
Lyrics: Carol Lee
 
I left my mind             
Under african skies
I never felt so alive
 
I crossed the sea      
I fell on the land
And we danced in the sand
 
Drum & a chair             
Woven rug and no door
The wood and dirt floor
 
Voices like prayer      
Went straight to my heart
A full moon lit the dark

I feel your pulse
Sister and brother
My father    my mother
 
A woman, a spade      
A plot and some seeds
How many mouths she will feed?
 
Rice on a leaf             
The whole village is there
With sweet mangos to share
 
Drum & a chair       
A circle a song
Yes, we all belong!
 
Voices of prayer
Went straight to my heart
And a fire lit the dark
 
I feel your pulse
Sister and brother
My father    my mother